The coach to Antwerp was to leave at half past ten this morning. As I had filled in the form with the hole at the top for hanging from the door handle, stating that I wanted my breakfast at around a quarter to nine, I was awake by half past eight. I could already hear cups and plates rattling on a trolley at the end of the corridor. I was having difficulty waking up, so I switched on the television to watch something that was moving.
There was an infomercial about a bra that didn’t cut into the skin and at the same time prevented rolls of flab from hanging over the straps. They called it the Comfortisse Bra. The Comfortisse Bra is so elegant it can be worn under any outfit, and so comfortable you can sleep in it. Several women joined the woman praising the bra; the first ones were wearing a bra that cut into their skin, reddening it a bit, the others the Comfortisse Bra. The difference was clearly visible, as the presenter herself confirmed. She said it also enhanced the cleavage, though I had my doubts about that. The Comfortisse Bra is very similar to a sports bra.
The coach is delayed. It’s eleven o’clock and I’m still waiting in the hotel lobby. We’ve just been told it would be here at midday. It’s raining. The man sitting next to me will probably miss his interview appointment. During the past couple of days, this lobby has been an information office for staff and performers at the Hague edition of Crossing Border, but now the posters are being taken down and the tables folded up. Stretched out on the carpet, a man is asleep on the floor.
If I had ordered the Comfortisse Bra this morning after the programme, it would have cost me 69.95 euro instead of 209.95 euro. Had I called the number on the screen, I would even have received three, a white, beige and a black one. The offer was doubled immediately: I would get two of each colour for less than 70 euro.
Again, the voice-over told me not to pick up the phone just yet, as a purple, a blue and a pink Comfortisse Bra were added to the offer, at the same price. The bra that did not cut into your skin and could be worn in your sleep had been reduced by 140 Euro in 90 seconds and came with eight free bras.
The rattling was moving towards me down the hotel corridor. There was a knock on the door.
‘This totally takes care of all your needs and problem,’ the woman on the television said, but I still wasn’t quite awake.