Whilst travelling around the world, my best friend fell in love with a Dutchman who, as a result, decided to follow her to Austria. As my best friend is incredibly neurotic and he didn’t want to stress her out, he temporarily moved into my flat until he had found a place of his own. He ended up staying in my living room, which had been empty for weeks as I no longer had a life, thanks to the impending deadline of my second novel. My best friend made us promise never to talk about her, after all the Dutchman knew her in the biblical sense and I’d known her since nursery school. Apart from her we didn’t have any common ground, so we spent many an evening talking about our countries instead.
We established that the Netherlands was half the size of Austria but had twice as many inhabitants. He explained to me why Dutch football was so awesome, and I explained to him why Vienna was an Eastern European city and not a Western European one. The only two issues we never succeeded in clearing up: I couldn’t understand why almost all Dutch food is deep-fried and he couldn’t fathom why most Austrians can’t speak English.
Even if we couldn’t solve these issues, they had been raised. And that was the important thing. Up until the moment when my best friend’s Dutch boyfriend asked me why all Austrians sound like members of the von Trapp family when they try to speak English, I had never noticed the appalling foreign language skills of my compatriots. All of a sudden the scales fell from my eyes – it was true, we really can’t speak English. And Remco had a similar experience; the very fact that I didn’t have a deep-fat fryer in my kitchen made him realise that food doesn’t always have to die a second, fatty death to be edible.
The great thing about meeting people from other cultures is not only what you discover about those cultures, but also what you discover about yourself. And that doesn’t just apply to interpersonal relationships, but to literature too.
When I was writing my first novel I had very little, if any, idea what I was actually doing. It was only when I began working with translators, that I gained an appreciation for the idiosyncrasies of different languages. I suddenly realised that German syntax is enormously ambiguous. I discovered the many shades of meaning in Austrian German, and was astonished to find that in some cases other languages didn’t have expressions for these words at all. And I also discovered that translation actually means appropriation. The first time I saw the Dutch translation, I had the feeling that only 40% of it belonged to me and 60% to Kor de Vries. Nevertheless, together we had created something completely new, as if my work had been expanded without any effort on my part.
It is precisely because of this process of exchange, of expanding across borders, of discovering the foreign as well as gaining a new appreciation for the familiar that I’m so looking forward to my time in The Hague.
I often associate literary festivals with lots of fascinating authors, brilliant musicians, getting to know colleagues from around the world, sleeping too little, drinking too much – and I imagine Crossing Border to be particularly intense. I’m already having great difficulty deciding what to miss and what to go and see – there are just too many exciting things on.
In my meandering thoughts everything is decorated with hundreds of tulips and there are twice as many people as at a German reading, but in half the space. In my imagination I also get to meet Arnon Grunberg and tell him I want to have his kids. And if I don’t, that might just be for the best. In any case, it’s going to be great.